Authored: July 9, 2024

Thinking about the future, I reflected.
Thought of the mistakes I made,
they are stark reminders of how alone you can feel,
and there is not a single person on the face of the earth,
who can understand you.

Thinking about the duality of death and life,
the future, the past, the present.

I used to dream, I used to feel;
I used to trust
But then it was me who was used
Hurt, violated and abused
My trust was taken
My spirit was broken
And now I sit alone, trying to salvage what's left.

Trying to convince myself that I didn't deserve it,
That it was theft
But I am struggling
A lost refuge of the fallen.
This is what I hear, in restless dreams.

"I am slowly starting to realize that I can't feel anything, any emotions whatsoever. Everything I do is because I'm used to it this way, it's just a routine by now. I've f'cked up so many times because of this apathy. And the worst part is, I don't really want anything to change, I don't really care anymore."