Authored: April 19, 2020

PROSE

Your fight is over....

Memories pass; familiar faces fade into darkness. Separated by your actions, you find yourself alone. Uncontrollable desires trap you. Emotions run through your head; thoughts shrouded by fear and anxiety. Fear has kept you away, it has stopped you from enjoying things you desire. As suppressed feelings of yourself surface you find yourself wishing for help. Several paths lay in your way, each deciding an alternative fate. Unable to choose, you freeze.

The inability to move halts all progression forward. Days pass by, each progressively becoming more agonizing than the last. A will to fight has weakened, and the defense you once had has been brought down by the constant reminders of your failure. Mirrors surround you like an attacking army. As you are forced to stare into your own desolate and lifeless eyes your focus diminishes. A slight breath, stained with the stench of pain and anguish from the inside crawls from your lips.

Your happiness has become a distant sentiment; a mere memory of what once was. You look at childhood photos and recollect on who you used to be. That bright exuberant smile portrayed in one family portray brings forth a realization of regret. Hate lurks beneath the words you speak. Anger arises in the gestures you create. A sudden dislike for things you once enjoyed becomes apparent. A fondness you once believed to be unbreakable has now been shattered by the person you've created.

You regard yourself as worthless and often question your own decisions. Clarity is wished for. Simple tasks become
confusing, and as your mind wanders into previous untamed tangents, the darkness soon follows. As the darkness grows more somber, your personality becomes engulfed into the depression. You plead to take hold of the happiness you once had, but it’s too late. You neglect those who love you most, and your relationships weaken. The thoughtless words you jab at them break the bonds piece by piece. Held together by a fragile string, those final selfish acts of carelessness are enough to pull it apart.

Divided you stand, lonely you exist. Sober days pass, and alcoholic pleasures take their place. You being to question the meaning of your existence. Why were you put here? To slowly destroy yourself in some sort of pathetic excuse to cope with the depression you have spiraled into. You've had enough; you’re exhausted and out of breath.

You lie lifeless on the floor of a house you haven’t left in days. The cold rain splashes against the thin glass. It’s the only sound you can hear-tap, tap, tap. The peacefulness drives you insane. Hours pass before you manage to bring forth the strength to pick yourself off the ground. You gaze outside and through the fog you notice a gentle glisten of light. A light so pure in its existence you cannot help but continue to stare into the void.

As the fog fades the brightness begins to penetrate its way inside your room. A room seldom reflected by light soon begins to reveal something. On the floor lies a fragment of a shattered mirror. A beam of light slithers across its smooth surface illuminating the room further. Walking slowly toward the mirror you place it in your palm. As your eyes connect with their own reflection through a jagged shard, you smile. A smile as pure as the light outside guides you to finally leave that room and experience life.