Authored: April 19, 2018

An eternal struggle for happiness
As I ventured into my past
Those random wishes of a different fate and childhood
I used to sing in solitude until I succumbed to fears.

Recurring dreams to yet become reality
A mind avenged by vengeful thoughts
When you trace trauma to the very place it originated
A family structure of dysfunction and callous disregard
Realising I had been struggling to survive
All my life
For love, for happiness and for security.

I was asked to realise it was okay to be angry
To feel frustrated, to feel resentful
That what I have been through was not my fault
That I experienced a raw deal
First in childhood, then in intimacy and recently at work.

Realising what it was and had been....
an eternal struggle for happiness
Trauma beckons as if it is an anvil in the sky
There are those people around me
Still in my life
Who warms my tormented psyche.

Recurring dreams become reality
I remember the times I succumbed to tears
Remembering feeling let down
But I always carried on, managed my load
Shake down the thunder.

I used to sing in solitude until I succumbed to fears
Those random wishes, unleashed the tides
As I ventured into dreams
Where in an alternate reality,
You warmed my tormented Psyche
And I had found my eternal happiness.