Authored: October 22, 2016

I am alone now, within loneliness there is introversion
The questions are pondered, answers are elusive
I am regressing, the mental abuse a pinnacle
I want to know the why's to the questions
Why was I born into a family so dysfunctional?
Why I had to endure beatings and mental abuse
From a father who should have been more loving?

I had this one chance back in 2013 where I met someone
What started out so great ended so bleak
Now I find the everyday a struggle
There is a melancholy, there is a pain
There is a deep aching and an even deeper blockage
There are no logical answers to my questions.

The state of regression is one of pure darkness
The mind, the heart, the body is simply running
This is the aftereffects of an abuse that isn't physical
But an abuse that has stripped you of your soul
I have a new realisation that I don't deserve Love
Love will be felt by others....

The state of regression leads to the lost self
There is nothing much left
After the end comes acknowledgment
A crippling return to emptiness.

The dreams haunt me,
I see what could have been....